He equips those he calls

A few years ago, I accepted a job position that I felt strongly called by God to do. The Board of Directors voted unanimously to offer me the position, believing I was the right person for the task, and they have been nothing but supportive and encouraging. They are generous with their praise and affirmation, and I know they have my back in every situation.

I love my job, and I know I am exactly where God placed me. However, few people know the struggles I have had with feeling unqualified. The standing joke is that for the first couple of years, I quit every two weeks. When I completed all my training and went forward to publicly accept my certificate of leadership, my mentor joked to everyone around her “I’m so proud of her… she quit nine times this year!”.

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Another mentor reminded me about Imposter Syndrome, and I agreed it was a label I could certainly wear.

Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern in which someone doubts their own accomplishments and has a persistent and internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Even when they have more than proven their abilities, they are still convinced that they are receiving affirmation they don’t deserve.

Recently I heard a saying that resonated with me. “When God put a calling on your life, He already factored in your stupidity.”

For someone like me, who has always felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole, that is such a comfort! God called me. He chose me, out of everyone else He could have chosen, to do a specific task for Him. He knows my weaknesses, faults, failures, awkwardness, and insecurities, and He chose me anyway. He knows that I run my mouth when I’m nervous, and I shut down and retreat into silence when I’m hurt. He knows I don’t confront the things I should, and that I tolerate things I should speak out against. He knows that I make mountains out of molehills about some things, and sweep other things under the rug instead of dragging them into the light when they should be exposed. He knows, and He chose me anyway. That gives me all the confidence I need to become the powerful leader my job requires me to be.

In the Bible we see that Noah was a drunkard, Jacob was a liar, Joseph came from a dysfunctional and abusive family, Moses stuttered, Gideon was a coward, Samson was a womanizer, Rahab was a prostitute, Jeremiah and Timothy were too young, Abraham was too old, and Elijah was depressed. David was an adulterer and a murderer, and his children were an absolute mess. Naomi was an elderly widow, Job went bankrupt, Jonah ran from God, and Peter denied he even knew Jesus. The disciples couldn’t even stay awake when Jesus asked them to support Him in His grief. Martha was a chronic worrier, the Samaritan woman had been divorced five times, Zacchaeus was an extortionist, and Paul was a religious terrorist. God called each of these people to a specific task, and then equipped them for that task. It transformed them into powerful examples of God’s wisdom and grace.

When God calls you, He already knows your limitations. Step forward in confidence, knowing that He equips those He calls, and in His power, you cannot fail.

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